[dr-moshe-admin]

OK sure. so here are some of the elements you mentioned.

“I didnt belong, I felt like I failed at being a person.”

how did not belonging mean you failed as a person? or how does not belonging translate to failing as a person.

A little more digging and something I AM statement like …

“In order to be a person I have to be connected and contributing to others.”

OK. So you got to this, so that other bit above is not as relevant. this is deeper.

So did you ask if this was true?

Is it true that in order to be a person you have to be connected and contributing to others?

let’s say, yes, i feel it’s true.

What makes it true? what makes you think that?

How is it true – ie, what is the evidence or proof it is true?

Don’t forget to do the transition question – how is it working out for you to believe that in order to be a person you have to be connected and contributing to others??

——-

If you’re not contributing and connected then you’re nothing.

“If nobody knows that I exist, then do I exist?”

OK. Sure. and then how about, “what if you don’t exist?”

or a little more poignantly: “So what if you don’t exist?, what’s the worst thing about that for you?”

you can do a little work with a more directive question –

is it possible for someone not to exist? say she says no, then ask, so how did it come to be that you believe you won’t exist or might not exist if…

“When I die I would leave behind nothing, my little 80 year blip means basically nothing.”

that statement sounds like it is exactly the same theme of not existing.

For me there’s nothing more than feeling pain and disconnected.

that’s almost a homeopathic juicy account. for HC, i’d want to ask, what makes you think that?

Other people are happy and I don’t know how to do that.

again, what makes you think that you don’t know?

or…more subtly,

what makes you think you need to know HOW TODO IT to be happy?

ie isn’t happiness just an innate thing. what makes you think it requires the knowledge of how to do it?

[dr-moshe-admin]

<<I have noticed that almost all of my cases end up in a similar place – with the client seeing that they have given other people the power to determine their value and worth. Then working to unravel that and release that false belief and reclaim their power/worth/value.>>

Absolutely true. The I AM is OK. We are OK. But then as children, we perceive ourselves as missing something. Like daddy is distant – he doesn’t care. So we desire him to care as a means of making us feel like we’re OK – and there goes the unconditional OKAYNESS of the I AM. And we believe we need that. Most issue revolve around getting attached to something we desire because we did not get it from a loved one, someone we look up to.

I am not included. Desire to be included. Externalization of the OKness of the I AM to something external which replaces that. That’s the problem.

TOTALLY love this post of yours Erin.

it’s very insightful and absolutely of great relevance to HC.

P.S. I tagged Julie. You can do so in the “tags” area down below.

[dr-moshe-admin]

Well, it’s clear from your description that her cutting herself (ie the rock) feels good.

It feels good to cut. There’s reasons for that – they’re all pathological.

So the rock is also pathological, although, it did serve her to feel like she could take the pain.

That might be the compensation for feeling like she is not important / not worth celebrating / don’t matter. it *might* be that or something akin to that.

So, your task is to help her see that the “rock” as a reminder is a negative thing. but not by telling her. First ask her, “what do you get from knowing you can take pain?” “how does it make you feel?” “What is the opposite of that?”

then, you can ask a direct question, “Is it possible that the way the rock reminds you of something positive, is a form of compensation for feeling like you’re nothing?” (this is if she doesn’t make the connection when you organically follow down the rabbit hole with her in exploring “what do you get from it?” or “what does it serve?”

you can always ask, if let’s say, she says, i get to feel strong or good about herself…

what makes you need to inflict pain on yourself to feel strong or good?

I’ve worked with those who cut themselves. they feel a relief when they hurt themselves. it’s good to hurt themselves bc they’re bad, or unworthy, etc.

the pain also distracts them from the deep emotional pain they’re feeling.

often associated with borderline PD and often very tough cases with many visitations to the core – but definitely doable, definitely healable.

[dr-moshe-admin]

I’d also definitely want to know what she/he meant about what being a non-person means.

And what does it serve? So, the whole thing, usually unfolds, “It doesn’t serve anything.”
So you say, “It doesn’t serve anything positive, but what might it be serving that is negative?”

(Could be that, for eg, being a non-person protects you from being abused. Or being a non person makes you feel less threatened because no one can see you and thus,)

I’d also want to know specifically, like “surgically” how neglect / abuse led her/him to feel like a non-person. So… for eg, you were neglected, or you were abused, what about that made you feel like a non person?

or… HOW did that make you feel a non-person?

or… bc of the neglect / abuse, what made you feel like a non-person?

[dr-moshe-admin]

Hi Erin,

That is interesting, isn’t it, when the person is convinced of the truth of their belief.

I remember asking on my FB page what books people would recommend for edifying the idea that we are inherently LOVE or Loving. I got quite a few suggestions. it’s wayyyyy back in my feed, you can check this out to see if there’s any crossover with that title. but i can tell you, Yoga, for instance, the basic Vedic / Vedanta knowledge of yoga, and Zen, and Taoism, and Buddhism (I think) suggests this very notion – that inherently, we are good. effortlessly, we are… good.

https://www.facebook.com/moshedaniel9/posts/10156589507115141

Sometimes that philosophy, if it is presented well enough, can inspire the person to think, “That makes sense…” then along with that, some questions to shake up the nest.

How is that belief working out for you?

Is it true? (i know you asked that, but then, after that question is asked)

What makes you believe it’s true? What supports the idea that it’s true?

When did you first believe it? Or a variation of that When was your earliest memory of that belief.

If mother’s determine their son’s worth, then that is conditional.

A son’s worth is only determine by his mother’s love. What about people who have no mothers? Or what about children whose mothers are unable to love? What makes the mother’s loving them grant them their worth?

another angle to it: What makes you WANT to support this idea as your truth? What does it serve?

If he says, well, i don’t want to, then you can ask, “So if you don’t want to, what makes you attached to it as the truth?”

another potentially important line of inquiry –

what about the father? what makes it only mothers that provide this? where is your father in all this?

Let us know how it goes. if there’s any progress.

That sort of a situation may also call for some supportive energetic medicine. My #1 go to, of course, as you know, is homeopathy. Does he have any dispositional resonances for any particular remedy?

[dr-moshe-admin]

My pleasure Laurel. Anytime!!

[dr-moshe-admin]

Laurel, the best path to help someone let go of an unwanted pattern is to do the dialogue and go deeply with them down the rabbit hole into helping them understand what is making them or what they are attached to in their issue. in your patients’ cases, not trusting their body.

What does it serve to not trust your body? what makes you feel like you don’t want to trust your body? Can you let it go? If not, then what stops you? Etc.

Doing this will always work better than trying to do something positive, or a different protocol or habit on top of the subconscious negative patterning.

[dr-moshe-admin]

Yes, I have seen cases like that and yes, HC can help resolve them IF they are not “out of their minds” when they’re triggered… if they get triggered during the appointment. Trauma release process (David Berceli) could be good for her if she is hard to do the Vis Dialogue with.

[dr-moshe-admin]

hi April. That’s a good question. It’s come up a lot for me in practice too.

If the attachment is to something about life, what is she attached to? Say, her kids. Even with her kids, there’s something to be explored there. What is she attached to there?

It does sound like she is open to considering there is something else beyond death. Did you ask her where this belief came from? ie Challenge the belief itself? Where’d that come from? What makes you think that? What does that serve to think that? Is she attached to thinking that?

Maybe her father thought that way and she is attached to his ideas as a means of getting closer to him bc she didn’t feel close to him emotionally? (a possible reason for the attachment)

Let me know if there’s anything else you’re seeking in this thread. Of course, others are free to respond as well.

[dr-moshe-admin]

Nice Dr. Erica.
Yes, we do get to see behind the veil of people.
I’ve had many experiences where I felt myself judging someone, or having a hard time around them energetically, until
I took their case and got to see and understand what was behind that energy I had a hard time with.
It teaches us compassion and to develop a general attitude to know, “There’s a reason this person is acting like this and it comes from their wounds.” Makes life easier to navigate.
Thank you for sharing.

[dr-moshe-admin]

Cool. and I haven’t heard from him.

So it’s not happening?